


Would You Rather?

by TheElectricSpecter



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Getting Together, Multi, Polyamory, Trans Male Character, Trans William "Dex" Poindexter, Use of Would You Rather Questions as Plot Points
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-10
Updated: 2017-12-10
Packaged: 2019-02-13 04:01:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12975444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheElectricSpecter/pseuds/TheElectricSpecter
Summary: “All right, C, here’s a question for you.”“If you asked me this while I was writing my final paper, I think I might have actually murdered you.”_X_Nursey is inquisitive.





	Would You Rather?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TrippingOnStairs](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrippingOnStairs/gifts).



It all started with ‘would you rather discover a person in your attic or 1000 roaches?’

The resulting argument continued for weeks, and it got Nursey interested in deciding on the worst possible scenarios for Samwell Men’s Hockey to decide between. It continues almost two years later, when Nursey and Dex finally moved into the Hockey Haus, and into the beginning of their junior year.

“Okay, Frogs, here’s a would you rather-”

“Jesus Christ, Nursey, let it GO,” Dex says, slamming his fingers onto the keyboard in front of him.

“No, no, listen.” Nursey plops down next to him on the green couch. “Would you rather eat moldy fish stew or have chili powder thrown in your eyes?

Dex stretches his arms high and breathes deeply in an attempt to not only loosen some of the pressure of his binder but give himself some time to think. “Uh, chili powder, easy.”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Chowder says, incredulous. “Have you ever had chili powder near your eyes?”

“No, but have you ever had food poisoning from mold? My family business is fish, Chowder, I know how that works. Moldy fish stew will kill you and cause lasting pain, not in that order. At least chili powder in the eyes will eventually stop hurting, or you can flush it out.”

“You know, I was leaning toward the stew, but I think Dex has convinced me.” Nursey pulls his legs onto the couch and sits cross legged. “Even if I’m blind, at least I won’t be dead.”

Chowder lets out a disgruntled noise. “I guess you’re right. I’m not happy that the reason you two finally agree with each other is to be against me, though.”

Nursey flashes a shit eating grin and a wink at Dex, much to his mortification.

_X_

He continues his obsession well into the school year. Thanksgiving break, as the team is recovering from their post meal coma, he breaks out a doozy.

“Listen up, guys. You’re starting game seven of the Stanley Cup Final. Would you rather play the game wearing nothing but your skates, or play fully clothed with absolutely uncontrollable diarrhea?”

“Oh, fuck, Nursey, why are you coming for me like this?” Ollie whines, his feet in Wicky’s lap. “You know I’d play the final naked, no fucking question.”

Wicky nods sagely. “Bro, it’s just more sanitary. I’d rather have to avoid a check than feel shit running down my leg for over an hour.”

The entire room nods and chimes in their agreement, except for Dex, who stares at the floor in intense concentration. “Hey, Nurse.”

“Sup.”

“Would ‘nothing but skates’ mean that I can’t wear my binder?”

An awkward silence falls over the group as Nursey screws up his face in thought. “I don’t think-”

“Nothing but skates means nothing but skates, bro,” Ollie points out. “A binder is made of fabric, yeah? That counts as clothing.”

“Shut the fuck up, O’Meara,” Nursey says, deadpan. “Binder counts as part of the body. I create the question, I create the limitations. Binder is in.”

“Honestly, Ollie,” Chowder huffs.

Dex tunes out Ollie’s apology in favor of staring at Nursey, who is pointedly avoiding eye contact and picking at his nails. Chowder sits next to Dex and rests one hand on his shoulder.

“Hey, Nurse?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks.”

_X_

Nursey doesn’t ask Dex another would you rather question until the week before finals.

“Dex, can I ask you something?”

“Is it what I think it is?” Dex calls down from the top bunk, refusing to tear his eyes from the physics textbook he’s been staring at for the past hour.

“Mmm. Yeah.” Nursey turns a page in his own book and types a few words for the essay he’s been referencing.

Dex sighs. “Go for it, I guess.”

The bunk bed creaks and Nursey’s eyes and forehead appear over the edge of the bed. “Would you rather kiss the person you hate the most or punch the person you love the most?”

Dex glances up and meets Nursey’s gaze, unwavering. “Mm. Deep. Poetic, almost.”

Nursey rolls his eyes. “Ha ha,” he says, standing taller to have more of his face appear. “But really.”

Dex puts his reading to the side and adjusts so that his face is mere inches from Nursey’s. “But here’s the thing, Derek.” Nursey gulps loudly and his cheeks darken. “What if they’re the same person?”

“Obviously, the solution here is to kiss your fist and just. Deck ‘em. Destroy them with your lips AND your fist, William.”

Dex chuckles. “Kinky.”

“What do you choose?” Nursey keeps eye contact.

“I’d rather kiss the person I hate, because I also love them. Uh, _him._ And punching him would be kind of a dick move, y’know?”

Nursey leans toward him. “Agreed. And I would, uh. I’d go for it. As soon as possible. If I were maybe, deciding, in the moment, whether or not to make a move-”

Dex closes the space between them and sinks forward as far as he can without falling off the bunk.

When they finally break apart, Nursey’s eyes are sparkling. “So, uh, you love me? And hate me?”

“I love and hate the way you drive me up the fucking wall.”

“Same here, Dex. And you know what? It’s driving me up the wall that you’re on the top bunk and I’m not, so…”

“I’ll come to the bottom bunk to finish my physics while you finish your paper, Nursey, yes.”

“Chill.”

_X_

After winter break, Nursey is fully back on his “would you rather” bullshit.

“All right, C, here’s a question for you.”

Chowder groans and runs his hands through his hair. “If you asked me this before break while I was writing my final paper, I think I might have actually murdered you.”

“I’m surprised I didn’t,” Dex says, shooting a wink in Nursey’s direction. He lets out a slow exhale in response, scratching his forehead in an attempt to cover his blush. “He was asking me questions all week.”

“Oh my god, I am so sorry.”

“It worked itself out,” Dex says with a grin.

Nursey coughs to try to hide his chuckle, but it doesn’t go unnoticed by Chowder. “What did you two do?”

“I’ll tell you later. Here’s my question. Who would you rather fuck: me, or Dex?”

Dex chokes at the same time Chowder speaks. “What the hell kind of question is that, Nursey?”

“A valid one. Make your decision, Chow.”

Chowder scrunches his nose in thought. “Okay, well, both of you are equally physically attractive-” Dex scoffs. “Shut up, Dex, you’re hot. You’ve got this boy next door vibe that I’m kinda into.”

“I feel like you’d lay me down in the back of your pickup truck and then tell me about your dreams to get out of this damn town and move to the big city. And like, you’re a handyman, and competency is pretty damn hot.”

Nursey laughs out loud as Dex feels his blush creep down the back of his neck. “Don’t laugh, Nurse, I’m coming for you next. You’ve got these model good looks, right? I feel like you could take me around the world and show me sights I never thought I would experience.”

Dex snorts and Nursey continues chuckling. “But I think under the chill and indifferent exterior, that I totally see through by the way, you absolute fucking dork, you’re super attentive and you’d totally do whatever you had to to make me feel comfortable.”

Chowder stops and looks at the ceiling. “I have to choose one?”

Nursey slides in next to Chowder. “Implying you want to fuck us both?”

“Hell yeah! I’d fuck you both. You’re my best friends, you’re both physically attractive, why wouldn’t I?” He flashes a grin at both men in the room. “Oh wow, um, Dex? Your eyes are super big.”

Nursey barks out a laugh and Dex turns even more red than he thought he could. “I feel like I’m in high school again.”

“Are you saying you _like_ like us, Chowder?” Nursey croons.

“Yep.”

Dex joins Nursey and Chowder on the couch, unceremoniously laying across both of their laps. “Well, that was easy.”

“What do you mean _easy?_ ” Chowder raises an eyebrow.

“I genuinely thought we’d be tiptoeing around this for months.” Dex stretches out and wiggles his fingers. “The fact that it’s out now made this easy.”

Nursey grabs Chowder’s hand and kisses the knuckles. “Movie night?”

“Hot Rod?”

“Oh, hell yes.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope y'all enjoy reading this as much as I had fun writing it!
> 
> Special thanks to marpizan, cashwheel, kinky-dominasterisk, and responsiblelesbian (all on Tumblr) for listening to laments about my own writing and making sure that I didn't typo "fist" as "first."


End file.
